Heidi

I’m going to claim this as a result of my age, but I realised today that Heidi has been 13 for rather a long time and after some quiet pondering appreciated that it’s more than a year since I heard that she was this age.

From today, Heidi is officially 14! It’s a weird emotional leap for me but to her it’s just another day. I have never kept company with a fourteen year old dog let alone one who’s been given such a wonderful extension to her expected span. Why do we get hang-ups about age? I verged on a crisis at 30 thinking my life hadn’t gone to plan as I’d not had children yet. At 40 there was the quiet acceptance that this was something not meant to be. 46 came with the revelation that actually I was now sharing my life with 3 teenage boys – regardless of the number of days each week it is still a joyous event. It was almost certainly a blessing that I didn’t have babies – I’m rubbish on disturbed sleep!

Living within each moment as a gift & keeping eyes wide open you see so much more than living waiting for something to arrive. If you are in the habit of looking forward to an event or thinking that happiness can’t happen until something else does, when the moment arrives that it DOES happen you’ll almost certainly miss it because you are in the habit of looking forward as opposed to looking at or being with.

The early days with Heidi taught me to be very much in the moment. It was pointless looking ahead as I had no concept of what ahead may be. I would have been astounded if anyone had told me categorically that she would be as strong and healthy as she is now, and maybe disbelieving. But, here we are with her tucked up behind me snoring gently just waiting for my return to the sofa so that she can hop up beside me to rest her head on my lap, waggle her eyebrows at me and nudge my hand onto her head for tickles.

Her age is remarkable. Her will to live is remarkable. The people who have helped her to this point are remarkable & have my eternal gratitude. Heidi is fourteen from today.

Blessed be.

R x

I had thought I was being slightly fanciful in calling Heidi puppy-like in my last post, just because her recent behaviour has been so different to how she used to be. Wrong.

We’ve just had the pleasure of meeting a lovely man with his two collies on our walk. He asked how old Heidi was. “Thirteen,” I replied. “Thirteen months?” he questioned. “No. Years!”. He genuinely thought Heidi was a pup from the way she’d bounded around the corner to greet them and was astounded to hear of her allegedly mature years.

Demetri commented the other day that she appears to either “do” deafness or blindness depending on the day. I’m unsure how far his tongue was in his cheek but it has subtly changed my approach to her and made me appreciate that every day is a new day for her and, like most people, every day is different. If she’s having a poor eyesight day I know that I can get her attention with my voice, or if her hearing is poor I can use hand signals more. As a result, I can get her to return to me when we are out on walks far more easily and she readily trots back to be put back onto her lead if she sees me doing either windmill impressions or beckoning with a finger.

It is indeed a happy day.

Blessed be.

Rach, Heidi, Meg & Demetri

What a scamp she is turning into! This morning I woke her up to go out & stopped her leaping off the sofa to give her a few warm up TTouches to lessen the shock to her system of going from deeply sleepy to wide awakey. The second I stopped she tore around the room doing play bows & barks at me!  Re-cycled puppy time. My grin was Cheshire-cat-like.

Last night D put one green-lipped mussel tablet in her food. I anticipate such supplements taking about 3 – 6 weeks before seeing any kind of change. I have no idea what it’s contribution was but she has certainly been very perky today. We shall see how it goes.

On our walk we encountered some children whose cat was playing with them in the road. I put Heidi back onto her (broken) Flexi & kept Meg on a short lead. It wasn’t long before I was trussed up like the proverbial turkey with the children laughing hysterically at my attempts to contain a screaming banshee (Meg) & the nutter (Heidi) who was attempting to persue a furry blob in the opposite direction up a fence. The children then cleverly employed a pinser movement around us as they were obviously dog lovers who wanted to stroke “doggy” – I suggested quietly to them that it may be better if I took “doggy” home as she was very tired & would they mind just hanging back a little bit so we could move away. Fortunately they became distracted by the shape that their cat had now assumed so returned their attention to her. I hobbled back home with legs tied together neatly & with 2 very smiley dogs.

R

Heidi is currently curled up in her nest behind my desk & is giving off the most curious odour – like her normal one but slightly more toxic. Her nose is unusually hot but she appears settled. Yesterday she struck me as being slightly under par & today she had a brief limp on her hind left leg on our morning walk. We stopped for a few moments of TTouch after which she was more settled but still stiff in the hind quarters.

I’m not concerned about her blip but will be keeping an eye on her, especially as today is plussing day & the Carcinosin remedy tends to leave her more clingy than usual.

R

It would appear that I’ve been remiss at keeping up to date with Heidi’s blog. I’m sorry if this has been cause for concern for any of you, but rest assured HRH is still here, & don’t we know it.

Last week we had a complaint from a passer by that our dogs were “out of control”. He was ignoring the fact that on both previous ocassions we’d met he’d tried to kick either Meg or Heidi, even though both were on the lead & Heidi especially was minding her own business. Long story short, both dogs now kept on leads (Heidi always used to walk off-lead as she never bothered anyone but NO-ONE is going to get even close to kicking my girls). She is now the proud owner of a Flexi which she took to like a duck to water & is delighted to truss us up like a turkey in cohoots with Meg.

The incident above would have been avoided if he’d continued walking on his pavement on the opposite sideof the road instead of crossing over to walk (slowly) just in front of us, then stop with his Chow while he leisurely sniffed the pavement. His dog is great & looks somewhat other-worldly – pays my 2 vaguely interested attention, but why bother? We went to over-take, Meg had a little lunge as her lead was shortened (natural response), his foot came out & I gave him a clear warning to desist. Verbal abuse, barking dogs, Heidi spinning like a dervish (default at times of stress) & D & I walked away bewildered. Both dogs are fine & we just ensure that Chow-man/woman (she does the same) are not around when we walk.

I’m going off-piste here. Heidi is extremely well & I am realising that in letting her express her true Heidiness in day-to-day life she has now developed some traits which need addressing. Out walking she always used to hang around my legs or stick like glue to Meg. Not any more. She now ambles off (at the trot I might add) in any direction which takes her fancy. We went fora long walk recently & Meg took her for a spin around a field.  We think HRH got a little disorientated, couldn’t see us (eyesight rubbish) or hear us calling, whistling, etc (hearing rubbish) so worked out which way we’d just come from & ran parallel to the path for a while before going through a hedge to get back onto the footpath. She must have gone a good 1/2 mile before I caught up with her. Air-head that she is had no concern that we’d been separated & just looked at me as if to say, “Which way was it?” & then trotted past me to be with Meg again! She remained on the Flexi until we knew that she couldn’t get behind us again! Scary moments but I was, however, completely delighted that she has enough about her to work out how to get back to the van or home.

From the day we had her she would flatten herself on the ground if you did the palm down signal or say “wait” (regardless of how gentle). She would look at you constantly for direction & wait to be released before moving on. I guess a combination of failing hearing & eyesight & her new cockiness (confidence has been passed!) she just stands looking at you impatiently, waving her tail gently. It always concerned me that her repsonse was so quick & she looked fearful. That is all a distant memory now. Luckily the Flexi keeps her safe from harm & she’s still very responsive to very light signals.

I’m usnsure whether it has anything to do with the homeopathic remedies, the move, me being ill before Christmas, or anything else but she has turned discreetly into a velcro dog. Whenever I move she’ll be there. Rehab is required. We are currently working on quieting her excited barking before walking as it is now so loud it could disturb the neighbours. When did she get so strong? If she barks she’s asked to leave the kitchen (which she does very obligingly) then is allowed back in when she’s quiet while I take my coat on & off to get her bored with the procedure. We have been going great guns until this morning when she lapsed! She’ll get there.

Mrs. Velcro is currently attached to D’s legs as he’s cooking & there may be a tasty morsel (fat chance) if she’s alert in a curled up, eyes closed kind of way.

I never imagined that she would still be with us now. I’ve just been re-reading the Green Acres Rescue blog  http://www.greenacresanimalrescue.co.uk/greenacresblog.htm where they said that Heidi had gone with us “in her last stages in life”. She has a touch of angina, is slightly stiff in her back end, is on medication for her heart & thyroid, gets CV247 & flax/cottage cheese daily, but looks to all intents & purposes like any other 13 year old collie – maybe even more spritely. The walk the other week was about 2 1/2 miles but she did more with her detour. Meg was out for the count for about 4 days afterwards, but Heidi was up & ready to go out again as soon as we got home!

She’s incorrigible & we adore her.

Rachael, Heidi & Meg x

Heidi’s being naughty! I caught her with her head in the bin yesterday eating a sweet wrapper, then she went & had a good lick at Meg’s bowl (unheard of), & on our walk she ambled up someones drive to have a good root around their garage! In all the time Heidi has been a part of my life she has always looked to me for direction & will check in to see whether it’s ok to do something, so this wanton behaviour is an utter delight. She’s started to make her own decisions & use her own brain (which is possibly an organ underused until now) – it’s great fun watching her blossom. She’ll even sit with her chin resting on the table while we eat.

Meg & Heidi have had a couple of spats in the last few days. Heidi invariably ends up squashed on the floor but is now giving as good as she gets. The dynamic between the 2 of them is definitely changing. Thankfully, when it’s finished they are completely happy together & trot along on their walks like a couple of old twits sometimes.

After the Pulsatilla plussing HRH was extremely clingy again & spent much of it pushed up against my leg, & then after the Carcinosin her bark got stronger – it’s positively loud now! 

Every day she presents us with a different aspect of this amazing personality of hers. She will never be a bad dog & we celebrate her naughtiness.

Heidi had another leg “episode” the other night. Fortunately, Demetri was still up & we were able to support her through it. It lasted longer than her previous ones, going on for about 1 1/2 hours when she was in obvious discomfort. When we had spoken to Sue about it on Monday she thought it might be cramp; consequently we took very detailed notes about the tightness of her muscles, her posture, heat/cold, response to touch & so on. The way her toes curl back during an episode made it look very likely that this is what’s happening.

The following morning she was as bright as a bright thing (we were wrecked having only had about 4 hours sleep but that was by the by!). Her bark was sharper & louder & she positively skipped around her walk with no evidence of any limp or discomfort. She’d had loads of healing & ttouch from 2 of us, but I don’t know what the after effects of that would be. I took them both to the park in the afternoon & Heidi decided to try being a lurcher, speeding off at such a rate with another dog that I had a momentary panic about her heart. I had to let it go. She was having the time of her life & it is surely better to have a fun life than a long boring life? She came back after a few minutes & had the biggest smile on her face. I kept half an eye on her but there appeared to be no ill effects from having had some fun

Sue has now sent us a new weekly remedy – Calc Sil – & we shall see how this goes. I was interested to read that it also covers absent-mindedness. I’d not really looked on her that way, but realised quickly that she’s as absent-minded as you can get! A little other-worldly sometimes when she’s whacked her nose on the same piece of table 3 times on the trot (but does at least close her eyes on the last one).

We are on week 3 of plussing today – Pulsatilla 4 times. She’s been attached to my leg since the first dose so am having a quiet office day until we go out this evening to a family do. My fingers are firmly crossed that there are no fireworks going off as both dogs will be in the van & I know that Meg is uneasy about bangs at the mo (she is getting stiffness in her hind quarters which I believe is contributing to the problem). They both live in their jumpers now (we are still trying to suss out the central heating in a Victorian house with original windows – fantastic windows, but accompanying draughts!) & Meg is much calmer as a consequence. She’s even free running in the local park without me worrying about who she’s going to duff up next.

Back to the vets next week for more bloods (to check electrolytes). The ones from Monday have indicated slight liver damage but I’d like to know how they compare to previous tests as this has been flagged up previously. My understanding is that the liver can regenerate (if the damage isn’t too severe); it would be good to know which way HRH’s is going.

Pictures being sorted as I write & I’ll post them up later.

R

Just a short update on our visit to the new vet (Sue Armstrong) in Wetherby. I have never seen Heidi look so relaxed or sparkly in the eye department as she was discussed & as she went around from person to person for strokes & tickles. Within minutes of arriving 2 nurses appeared to take some blood & Heidi was very sweet; she made a slight sound but she didn’t tighten up at all & looked quite calm. The nurses were lovely & were happy with the suggestion to allow HRH to drop her head down a little (her neck gets quite tight / stiff sometimes).

The timing was great as she then had an hour to mooch around the room & explore who was going to give her the best attention & was utterly delighted at the end when Sue gave her 2 more liver treats. I think she’ll be happy to return!

I was very glad that Demetri was there; he was able to gently hold Heidi while Sue checked her heart, etc. & filled in the gaps of information which I had forgotten. It’s also good to have another dimension added to her life – someone who is really observant of how she is, how she responds & other facets of her personality.

I commented last night how supported I felt, but it’s more than that. I feel that the responsibility of  observing her, being mindful of her or maybe just an awareness of how she’s feeling is now shared. I was fairly emotional when I realised this last night – truth can sometimes feel overwhelming. Heidi’s care has never been. She is a truly special little dog who is growing into her skin daily & I can see her achieving the potential that she has had within her all this time but has maybe been a little reluctant to explore it. It is a joy to feel that the fire-fighting stage has ended & we can now help her peel away the layers from her past, of her health & her daily expectations to reveal this shining light that we have been getting glimpses of.

Shine on little one.

R

I’m beginning to realise what a part of the vet issue has been. Throughout Heidi’s time with me (nearly a year now) I have taken the viewpoint of boosting health to deal with the cancer & this has been reflected in her veterinary care to date. The local vet I saw (post Barbara) allowed me to create an internal dialogue which gave the strong option to see her as a sick dog who needed pity. Seeing Sue on Thursday enabled me to revert to my preferred stance of seeing Heidi as an extraordinary, elderly collie who has the brightest personality, cheeky ways & breath which makes your eyes water who just needs our loving support.

I have no idea whether there is any cancer left in her body. To focus purely on that now when she’s showing who she is would be folly. It’s a balancing act of acknowledging what may be there & giving her body the necessary support to deal with it whilst ensuring that each day is restful & fun, with space for her to show us & share with us anything she wants to express.

Yesterday we found a ball on our walk. I remember the communicator saying how much Heidi wanted to show us how bright she is so I started to toss her the ball. Her eye / mouth coordination was rubbish but she had a grin as wide as any Cheshire cat as she bounced the ball off different parts of her head in her attempt to get it into her mouth. The last attempt saw the ball shoot under a parked car. I wonder whether it was deliberate as she made no attempt to get it; it’s possible it was “This game is getting a bit boring. Yes, my face is entertaining, but my poor heart…” We collected the ball this morning, much to both dogs delight.

We’re off to see Sue (vet) this evening. we shall report in when there is more news.

Happy day.

R, H & M.

Aha! I think young Heidi is in season. She’s spending a lot of time licking herself & is slightly swollen. We’d been unable to categorically say that she was unspayed but it’s looking that way.

Last night I had to shake her leg really quite vigorously to wake her for her bedtime neem treats (shades of being awoken at 4 for a cup of tea…). I could see few signs of life from her & it was just beginning to cross my mind that something had happened when she lifted her head for a whiffle. I came downstairs to her later as Demetri had said that she was hugging the bottom step & may be a bit chilly so I put her red jumper on (a good warming colour) & made her bed more snuggly. When I went in to check on Meg, Heidi followed me, jumped onto her sofa & was asleep in seconds! I believe she was still in the same position this morning. Meg was in the new bottom step bed this morning!!

R