I’m beginning to realise what a part of the vet issue has been. Throughout Heidi’s time with me (nearly a year now) I have taken the viewpoint of boosting health to deal with the cancer & this has been reflected in her veterinary care to date. The local vet I saw (post Barbara) allowed me to create an internal dialogue which gave the strong option to see her as a sick dog who needed pity. Seeing Sue on Thursday enabled me to revert to my preferred stance of seeing Heidi as an extraordinary, elderly collie who has the brightest personality, cheeky ways & breath which makes your eyes water who just needs our loving support.
I have no idea whether there is any cancer left in her body. To focus purely on that now when she’s showing who she is would be folly. It’s a balancing act of acknowledging what may be there & giving her body the necessary support to deal with it whilst ensuring that each day is restful & fun, with space for her to show us & share with us anything she wants to express.
Yesterday we found a ball on our walk. I remember the communicator saying how much Heidi wanted to show us how bright she is so I started to toss her the ball. Her eye / mouth coordination was rubbish but she had a grin as wide as any Cheshire cat as she bounced the ball off different parts of her head in her attempt to get it into her mouth. The last attempt saw the ball shoot under a parked car. I wonder whether it was deliberate as she made no attempt to get it; it’s possible it was “This game is getting a bit boring. Yes, my face is entertaining, but my poor heart…” We collected the ball this morning, much to both dogs delight.
We’re off to see Sue (vet) this evening. we shall report in when there is more news.
Happy day.
R, H & M.